"it" just moved
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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