so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
