I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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