when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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