Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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