Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
