I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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