You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
