I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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