Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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