And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
