smell my finger.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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