Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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