Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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