i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
