I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.