I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I need to stop coming to work sober
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
