you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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