Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Bring me that man meat
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
