He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
