then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
