It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
my liver is dry heaving
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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