you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Bring me that man meat
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
