I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
