pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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