You made me cry and you don't even care
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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