well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
