if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
