I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
