Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
