there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
