I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
