we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
