I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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