i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize