She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We need a shit load of segways right now
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
