Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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