i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
