I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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