Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
What changed your mind?
Being sober
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
