So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
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Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
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he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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