And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
