I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
