You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You were trust falling into bushes
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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