Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
