We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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