if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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