Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
