when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
