Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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