You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You're like the curious george of whores
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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