8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
