he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
