@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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