your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize