May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
