doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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