You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
